How do you thank an industry that’s given you everything?
Romance gave me escape between the pages as a reader. Letting me get lost in worlds that didn’t weigh me down, in lands and places that shone bright and shimmered in love and light. Happily ever afters that made me believe that I could one day have my own and know what I wanted it to look like. Then helped me recognize it when I found it.
Romance gave me purpose in the words I shared. It reminded me that I was more than a wife and a mom. Helped me to feel seen outside of the nursery and my home. Showed me that even though those titles– Wife and Mom– were two of my most favorite things to be, they didn’t define me and that they weren’t ALL that I was.
Romance gave me friendships that changed me in ways I didn’t know I needed changing. Friendships that touched my life in ways that instilled loyalty and also forced me to accept that not all people are YOUR people. The ones who are though, those are the ones who matter and they know who they are.
Romance gave me community. A massive group of people who GET you. People who love something that you do, who relate to your sleepless nights and promises of “just one more chapter.” A community that gathers and celebrates together in spaces that we’ve created. From signings and conferences to podcasts and sets like Love on Demand. A community that is quick to defend and rally. A community that is often pushed aside and not taken seriously because our stories end in a Happily Ever After.
For that community, I will let my middle finger fly. I will stand on business, ten toes down against anyone who thinks “smut” is a derogatory term or that it’s shameful to read “mommy porn” or whatever else they want to call it. Fuck those people. Maybe if they read more of what we were, they wouldn’t be so judgemental. Community is one of the greatest gifts Romance has given me.
Romance has given me power. It has taught me that life doesn’t have to be vanilla and neither does sex. Some of my best…moves…I’ve learned from books. And learning your likes and dislikes, your body and what it’s capable of is so very empowering.
Romance has given me peers who understand deadlines and death by review. The joys of sharing your work and also the anxiety of sharing that same work. The blood, sweat, and tears that go into something so personal that you have to then hand over to people to pick apart. Creative beings, just like me, who know what it’s like to trust readers, with eyes squeezed shut and hope that they fall in love with characters that were born in your mind and live in your heart. Characters who captain your ship and hopefully aren’t headed toward an iceberg on the horizon.
Romance has given me opportunities I never would have had. While I’m not a “get rich” author, it has given me the opportunity to be rich in so many other ways. Opened doors, allowed me in spaces and at tables I wouldn’t have been invited to otherwise.
Romance gave me Adriana Locke. More than a friend, far beyond a peer. Someone who has taught me more about this bookish world, supported me, cheered me on and given me a seat at every one of her tables. Every time. Without fail. Without expectations. Without me having to ask. Romance gave me my forever friend in Addy.
I can go on and on about all that Romance has given me and what I’ve given back to Romance, and I’ve given A LOT, but we don’t have that kind of time. At the end of the day, amidst the ups and downs, the tears, both happy and sad, the run-on sentences, shitty punctuation, cliffhangers and plot twists. The times I’ve felt lonely and inadequate in my craft, and the days where I was surrounded by my people, fist- pumping my successes and making my little black heart grow, I know that Romance has given me…everything.
